Mendelssohn’s march resounded, the young exchanged rings and it seems that only infinite happiness lies ahead.
But reality has nothing to do with dreams. Quarrels on trifles and lack of understanding gradually alienate newly-made spouses from each other. Unfortunately, most lovers are not ready for family life. They don’t even think about the need to work on relationships.
This article is dedicated to girls who want to save their marriage and improve relations with her husband. Of course, this is not easy to do, you have to compromise, give in, cunning, but isn't family happiness worth it?
Below are 10 tips from a psychologist on how to find a common language with her husband. It doesn’t matter how old you are married, if you still don’t understand your man, use these methods and your relationship will reach a new level.
10. Do not try to change your spouse
Perhaps the most common mistake in the behavior of all women. As soon as they get married, they begin to educate their beloved man.
You yourself chose your husband, why now you suddenly decided to remake it?
Sometimes it reaches the point of absurdity. Wives are not only trying to force husbands to perform household chores (tidying up, cooking, washing dishes), but they are also striving to change their appearance. They encroach “on the holy of holies” - the wardrobe and hairstyle of the chosen one.
If your husband prefers a sporty style, you will never make him wear a tuxedo. If he walked with a beard for five years, then he will not refuse it, just because you decided that it would be better.
Give the man the opportunity to be himself, love his real, do not try to remake him.
9. Look at the world with a positive
No one will like it if there is a sullen person who is always dissatisfied with his life.
If you are constantly in a bad mood, do not ignore this problem, sort it out yourself. Do not break evil on your husband, do not dump all your feelings on him.
Of course, you swore an oath "in sorrow and in joy." But only if there is too much grief, the man will soon get tired of you and will run away to a woman with a light character who will not cut him because of any trifle.
If the cause of your bad mood is the behavior of your chosen one, his habits or shortcomings, talk with him. Perhaps he does not even know the true reason for your discontent.
8. Give your husband the opportunity to be the smartest
This is not about the level of intellectual development. Even if you are a Nobel laureate in chemistry or the most famous female programmer, give your husband the opportunity to be smarter than you.
You don’t have to do anything special. Periodically admire his mental abilities and innovative solutions. Be sure to remove the phrase: “I told you” from your vocabulary.
Under these conditions, your husband will be the happiest person on earth. He will understand that you love him, appreciate and respect him, and this is very important for a man.
7. Do not be offended by trifles
Often the causes of quarrels between spouses are minor trifles. The husband forgot to buy bread, did not notice changes in his wife's appearance, did not congratulate him on a memorable date. Women attach too much importance to such events.
Men look at everything much more simply: “If you don’t like something, say it.” So do not be silent or cause a scandal, just talk with your chosen one.
Did not buy bread? Do not scream, but send it to the store. Didn’t notice that you dyed your hair? Tell him about it, men usually do not notice minor changes in appearance. If you did not congratulate him on his anniversary, hint to him that you are waiting for congratulations.
Problems are easy to solve, the main thing is to keep calm.
6. Do not demand money from a man
In our country, it is accepted that a man is a breadwinner and must provide for his family. Recently, more and more self-sufficient women have appeared, but there are also many who are sitting on the couch, and they require big earnings from their husband.
Of course, you can motivate your partner, but certainly not by criticism or reproach. If a man cannot cope, and cannot fully provide for his family, help him.
Even if you are sitting at home with a child, now there are many opportunities to earn extra money. If you want to live richly and not make any effort to this, do not torture your husband, leave him and go in search of a millionaire.
5. Involve your husband in parenting
If your husband is not at all interested in children, you are unlikely to be able to do anything. Most likely, such a family model suits him. Perhaps he was accustomed to the fact that dad should earn money, and his mother to raise children.
But the children only need a father, try to convey this truth to your partner. Do not criticize his parenting methods. If a man is strict with children, this is normal. Children should see both male and female education.
4. Do not ignore intimate life
If there is no place for sex in the marriage, the spouses are estranged from each other. If you regularly refuse your husband physical closeness, be prepared for him to have a mistress.
If you are very tired at work and with family affairs, ask your spouse for help. Rest assured, he will not refuse you.
Remember to add variety to your sex life. If you have any problems, do not be afraid to discuss them.
If you think that you have stopped loving sex, you don’t feel like doing it at all, remember the famous phrase: “Appetite comes with eating.”
3. Distribute responsibilities in the family
To avoid unnecessary disputes, distribute household chores. It all depends on the employment of spouses.
Do not forget to thank your spouse for what he does for the family. Let him just throw out the trash and take the children from the kindergarten, say “thank you” to him, the next time he wants to do more.
Unfortunately, many men do not know how to thank for a delicious dinner, cleanliness and comfort. Do not be upset about this, tell your husband about his mistake easily and with humor: “And where is my“ thank you ”? I just cooked this gala dinner for him! ” The man will understand that you want to hear the words of gratitude and the next time they will definitely say them.
2. Do not keep your husband on a leash
Now they talk a lot about personal freedom, but still women do not want their husbands to have time for themselves.
Do not keep your man on a leash. Let him meet friends, engage in hobbies. If you decide to enter into a marriage, this does not mean that you need to cross out all your previous hobbies from your life.
Give your husband freedom, he will be happy to return home. You will rest from each other, or maybe even get bored. Use this time to your advantage: take care of your appearance, arrange a meeting with friends, read or take time for your hobby.
1. Do not forget about your appearance
Every woman knows that a man loves with his eyes. Nevertheless, after the wedding, beautiful dresses gradually disappear from the women's wardrobe, girls begin to ignore cosmetics and go to the hairdresser much less often.
Do not forget about your appearance. Dress up not only for work, but also at home. Buy beautiful home clothes. Be not only a partner and mother, but also a woman.
Rejoice your spouse. Take care of yourself, let him fall in love with you more and more every day. For a beautiful woman, a man is ready for anything, do not forget about it and take care of your beauty.